I’m often asked in my practice when someone reveals they are anxious or that they anticipate being anxious “what do I do?” Good question. Not easy to answer. Everyone wants (and who wouldn’t?) my magic wand to cast a spell so that the anxiety, present or anticipatory can go away. Haven’t gotten that wand from Olivander’s yet, but when mine picks me, I’ll be sure to let everyone know.
In the meantime, I would ask said-person “what kinds of things have you done before when you’re anxious that have helped? I always think it’s important for people to rely on familiar sources of comfort before we start collaborating on discovering new methods of self-soothing that said-person could avail themselves of should that feel necessary. It’s about building upon and creating a greater arsenal of self-soothing techniques that you can use when you want to and when you need to do so. “Striking when the iron is cold” is a saying taught to me by an old supervisor and it’s meaning is profound. When not in the throes of feeling overwhelmed or anxious, one can think and when one can think, ideas and clear-mindedness is available to us. When overwhelmed, anxious, scared, depressed, our ability to think is hampered and we’re not very good at dipping into those solutions that we’ve cultivated when thinking clearly. Thus, creating this arsenal of coping/soothing techniques in a thoughtful way has a greater chance of integrating internally and, if we allow ourselves, in the middle of feeling any of the aforementioned, to take a breath, count to 10, it is more likely that our minds will have the space to collect those techniques we’ve assessed that are useful for self-care in those moments.
Here are some examples of self-soothing techniques:
Breathing
Here are some techniques: https://www.healthline.com/health/breathing-exercise
Reaching out to friends, loved ones via the phone, FaceTime, Skype etc…some video platform so that you can see one another if you’re not able to be in each other’s presence
Taking a walk
Listening to music
Binge-watching fantastically stupid t.v.
Taking a bath
Spring-cleaning (yes, some people find this soothing)
Cooking/Baking
Putting a pot of water on the stove and simmering in it some cinnamon sticks, nutmeg, vanilla so that the warming smells waft through your home
Writing in a journal how you’re feeling
Finding online communities in which to participate that help you feel useful, connected and give you a sense of belonging.
Etc…
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